This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
