There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
