I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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