dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
