so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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