I can text with my tongue
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
