There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
