I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
