And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
