I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
