My hand turned me down
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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