I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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