Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
