im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
