uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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