I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
