I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
