Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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