I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
