just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love having hate sex.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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