For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
