i think i have two assholes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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