Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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