im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
