I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
