"it" just moved
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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