so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
