We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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