I want to make a zoo with you.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
handjob tips. give me some.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
