Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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