Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
