Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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