The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
