Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
