i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
