id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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