my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
