You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
