I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
