Ambien. No doubt about it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
