Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
