He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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