I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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