I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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