And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
