So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's official drugs can't kill me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
PANTIES FOUND
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