What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
