I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
only you would photoshop your dick
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
