How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
