I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
