Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You are a genius and a whore.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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