Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize