whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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