So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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