why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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