I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize