Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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