I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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