i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
