Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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