So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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