i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
