There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
