Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize