Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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