What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
ttyl tear gas
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
