it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
