i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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