There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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