you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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