so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
