Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
