never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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