I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
is that a dick in a sweater?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
