Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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