i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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