dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
